the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
