Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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