I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
