That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
