so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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