butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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