6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
