This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it glows. i had to have it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
