It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
