i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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