Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
