And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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