come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
