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The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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