he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
