never play flip cup with pint glasses
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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