I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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