i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
