I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
