oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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