To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
