pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
