He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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