haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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