Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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