Do vagina's smell?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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