One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
