make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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