I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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