Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
