Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
