just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
