So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
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Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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