His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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