smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
