I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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