Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
