Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
