Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
