So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I understand Curling. That high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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