Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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