Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
