her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
