She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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