I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
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Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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