Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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