Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
