yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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