NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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