i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
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But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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