Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
