you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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