So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The power of my boobs compel you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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