Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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