by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
