i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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