Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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