found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
