I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
