Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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