Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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