One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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